I have been contemplative lately. I am quickly approaching 44 years old (my birthday is next week). Thus, I have been taking stock of my life. Throughout the ups and downs of my life, I have come to realize that I am a good man with many flaws. I enjoy my job, love my daughter, and truly enjoy my relationship with Lori (my girlfriend). That all being said, I am not completely happy with myself. If and when the opportunity presents itself, I would like to leave this part of Maine and possibly the state itself altogether (Though not until my daughter grows up and hopefully make this decision with Lori). I have never had a peaceful existence with my residency here.
I believe the thing that I admire most about several of my friends is that they have had certain goals that they wanted and have achieved through their focus. Something that I have never had. I tend to stop and ponder the possibilities too much and lose track of time. Now, as I approach my mid-40's that time is becoming more and more elusive. I like being a teacher. I'm good at it. It is not a passion for me however. To be honest, I have never had a driving passion towards anything. I enjoy many things and consider myself a jack of all trades type of person. I like to study and discuss many subjects. I find many things fascinating, but am not particularly passionate about any of them.
I have often wondered if my friends are truly passionate about their life's work? Or did they just make a decision that they would focus all of their energies on? Hmmm...
